Alex:  Turns me on to see her being like sexually pleased by another man. Mm-hmm. In that situation. Mm-hmm. You know?

Didi: Yeah.

Alex: Um, because again, I felt safe. I, I talked to the guy we had now, met him. He's good looking. He's cool, but I didn't feel threatened by him at all. If I get to know them, even if they are tall or whatever, I don't care.

Like that doesn't bother me. It's just when I don't know them at all and I haven't had anything, any connection, and I haven't been able to talk to them. And to me, that's the key. So when I can get in that head space and I can really enjoy it.

Fer: Hi everyone. I am Fer relationship coach and host of this podcast. Welcome to Polycurious, and today I have part two of my conversation with Didi and Alex. And honestly, I think this might be my favorite. I mean, I love both conversations, but the other one was a little bit more serious even though we did laugh quite a bit.

This one, there's a lot of laughter. There's [00:01:00] a lot of really open conversation around sex, and it is really all about MFM tms because that is something that Didi and Alex have explored together and that Alex has explored on his own as well. A lot. And let me tell you, I've only had one MFM threesome and I enjoyed it so much, and since I've been.

Trying to show other women how pleasurable and amazing it can be. So if you're curious about that, or if you're a guy that thinks that you might find it attractive, but you feel a little bit jealous or insecure, I think you're gonna learn a lot from this episode. In Alex's case, for example, he didn't even feel comfortable like many, many years ago.

He didn't even feel comfortable seeing his partner. Someone else, and now it's become a kink of his. And I think it just goes to show that a lot of the times we just have to get over our insecurities. And [00:02:00] sometimes you just need a little bit of practice. Sometimes you just need to reframe your mindset and start thinking about how hot this is, for example, in his case.

And there's an aspect that turns him on where he knows that ultimately Didi is his partner and he's sharing and in a way showing off. How hot his partner is, and some might say that the objectification there could be a little bit problematic, but as someone who has really enjoyed being objectified in bed, I can tell you that obviously, as you'll hear today, it's something that can also be very, very enjoyable for a woman to be objectified in that way.

If you want to play around with that idea, I think it can really. Turn things around and help with the jealousy and discomfort that might come in these situations. However, something that Alex also talks about is that something that's important to him is that he likes the guy, obviously, that they're going to have [00:03:00] the threesome with.

Obviously Didi has to like him too. However, they got really creative in how they wanted to pick the person, and I cannot wait for you guys to hear, but I think sometimes it can be really intimidating if you. Have a reason with someone that you think might be hotter than you or taller, or that has a bigger penis or bigger boobs, or whatever it is, right?

So sometimes establishing that connection with the person first can really help ease those anxieties. So I really like that takeaway from today. Before we start, I just want to. Tell you that if you feel like you're struggling with non-monogamy, or even if you're just starting to think about opening up the relationship, if you are in a situation where you want to be open and your partner wants to be monogamous, any of those things, I'd be more than happy to help you as a coach.

If you want to book a free exploratory [00:04:00] call with me, you can find. A link in the episode description. If you like what you hear today and you want to connect with Didi, make sure to follow her at ethically non-monogamous on Instagram or check out her podcast where I was a guest called the Non-Monogamous Spectrum.

Okay guys. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Here's part two of my conversation with Didi and Alex.

Didi and Alex. Welcome back part two. We had you on and we meant to talk about MFM Threesomes. I remember when you came to Denver and we had like a, a walk in the park. You mentioned that you wanted, uh. MFM threesome and that you, you had Alex, your partner, kind of pick the guy for you. I think that was like how initially you wanted it to be, but then I don't know if that ever happened or not.

Tell us, okay. Let's [00:05:00] start there and see how things have evolved because I think there's a lot of updates since.

Didi: Yeah, so the concept was Alex was finding some contenders, some options, guys that were interested and comfortable and experienced with MFM. And what was happening was I would go meet them for like a drink or coffee and just to be like, okay, is the vibe there?

What was happening was I was not finding myself like super attracted to them through conversation and all of a sudden I was like, this isn't working this way, and I had listened to this podcast and essentially this girl, one of our partners. They would hook up at in hotels sometimes, and he would bring just like a random person in that she didn't know, but she trusted him so much.

They were very established. She trusted who he brought in, and a few times she'd do it where she was just blindfolded and [00:06:00] he would just invite this person in so she wouldn't even see them. Sometimes I got the idea that, hey, this might be a really good way for me to. Basically rip the bandaid off or break the ice, however you wanna say it.

And I figured, okay, meeting these people because it's not about actually meeting them and like having conversation and trying to figure out if I'm like attracted to them that way. It really is just about the sexual experience. Then maybe I need to do it kind of this way where Alex basically invite someone, but I didn't wanna be that much in the dark, so I had him.

Find some people and he found like, like five or four people. And I said, okay, well these three, like they like I just kind of picked based off of,

Alex: she got to narrow it down and then I picked from there.

Mm-hmm.

Didi: Yeah. And then I was like, and then out of the three, you pick any of the three, so at least I know it's one of the three.

Yeah. But it's also still kind of fun because I didn't exactly know who it was, who it was.

Alex: No. And [00:07:00] it allowed me to still keep some measure, measure of control, which I realized that. Uh, since then we've had some other conversations where I'm not super comfortable and just her meeting some random guy off the streets and everything.

We kind of said, I kind of said that I was what I was, and I kind of, because I, I have been in the past, but like, I'm not with her right now. And so having some level of measure of control is important to me. So what I did is, uh, after Didi narrowed it down to three. Then I picked one just based on different things and had a phone call conversation with him, and we just talked on the phone and just kind of said, Hey, here, how, here's how it's gonna work.

You know, this is her first experience. I'm, I'm experienced in doing this, and you know, we're gonna set it up. I'll go to a hotel room and I'll meet you in the lobby, and she'll be upstairs, like, ready, and I'll walk up with you. And so we got there. We were just all ramped up about it. She and I got there and we ended up like having sex [00:08:00] at least once or twice before.

I don't even know, but I know it was right before, and then we, yeah, because we got there a little early, just kind of chill. Yeah. And then she kind of changed. We couldn't

Didi: help herself herself.

Alex: Yeah. I couldn't have help herself. I really liked this, like the, like it's a, it's very much a, I say power. I'm not sure if that's the right word, but I enjoy this type of scenario, you know, when I do, when I'm in the right head space.

And so we were in a good spot. Um, he texted that he was there and she had changed and gotten into something a little more sexy. And I said, okay, so I'm gonna go down and you put the blindfold on and I'll be up in a few minutes and I'm just gonna knock on the door and let him in and let him come in first.

'cause I kinda like doing that. That's what, when I've done experiences as the single guy in this situation, I like when the. Guy kind of has me go in first, you know, to, because it just makes it a little bit cleaner at first and then kind of joins in later or whatever, if they're gonna watch whatever. But I told him I'd probably [00:09:00] join in, so I went downstairs and met him and he looked like who he, who he was.

And we chatted real quick and it wasn't really much chatting at all. And I just said, all right, let's go. And we just got in the elevator and upstairs and I just said. I said, yeah, so she's on the bed, she's blindfolded. I'm gonna knock a couple times. So she knows, um, that, that it's us and I'm gonna let you in.

And then yeah, you're welcome to go and introduce yourself and just whatever. Just don't take off her blindfold and I'll be in a little bit. And so. I'm not,

Fer: did you give him any like guidelines or were you just like, okay, like how about it?

Alex: We gave him some guidelines as far as like, like no anal, you know, like that kind of stuff.

Right. And like you have to use a condom and you know, that kind of, that kind of stuff. It wasn't that much more just that. And so I let him in and I think I maybe followed him in, but I went right into the bathroom and then he just kind of went into the room and I'll let. Didi pick it up from there.

Didi: Yeah. He kinda likes to let, I guess, like, okay. Have your [00:10:00] like time so that it's like,

Fer: yeah, get to know each other a little bit. Yeah.

Didi: Yeah.

Alex: I also do that for, because as a guy, it like knowing that you have to wear a condom sometimes can get in your head. Two. Right. And so like I've been in a situation where the guy is like directing everything.

Like, alright, now you do this and you do this, and it just feels too puppety for me. And then that'll get in my head. And if I have to have sex with a girl and I'm wearing a condom, it makes it harder. Right? So I almost letting him do that. 'cause I feel like, look, if they're one-on-one that he's. Gonna be more excited.

Didi: Mm-hmm.

Alex: Right. If I let him try it that way first, like

Didi: he's not gonna feel micromanaged,

Alex: he's not gonna feel micromanaged, he's gonna feel like I'm cool with it. Go get him nice and hard before he has to put that condom on, is literally how it goes in my head.

Fer: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Alex: Sorry, babe. It's true.

Didi: No, that makes sense.

Alex: Giving makes total sense, logical

Didi: sense.

Fer: No, I love it. We're giving all the tips to the listeners.

Alex: Yeah, it's [00:11:00] practically, yeah. Yep, yep. Let let the guy go get his fluff on and get nice and excited and then, then I'll come in. Yeah, because you can get in guys' heads sometimes to be, have another guy there. But anyway, go ahead.

Didi: And like our rule is, okay, I'm in control of when the blindfold comes off. Like I get to decide when that happens. And I actually enjoyed having the blindfold on so much that I didn't take it off till like we were all done. Like I was just like, this is fun. Like I liked. I don't know. It was just all sensory without seeing anything.

And I could definitely tell like who's kind of who mostly because like he was definitely a Harrier guy and Alex has like no hair on it. He's like. No hair on his body.

Alex: I'm like one of those cats, no hair.

Didi: He's cute. So I'm like, oh, like it's really soft skin. Okay. Awesome. You know, Alex is still speaking through it too, you know, directing another bitt.

Yeah. You're directing a little bit or just like, I don't [00:12:00] know. There you're part of the experience once joined.

Yeah.

Didi: Um, but it was very comfortable. I felt comfortable the whole time. I also wasn't in my head because I couldn't see Alex's face or reactions I didn't have to worry about like, oh my gosh, is he okay with this?

And also knowing he has complete control. I'm the one leasing control in a way because I don't, I'm not seeing anything.

Fer: You weren't able to be very active. So in that, in, in a way that released some of the pressure of like, is he going to be jealous if I do this or if I pay more attention to this other guy?

Because you didn't really have much of a choice.

Didi: A hundred percent. Yeah. So it removed that completely. I didn't have to be in my head about a single thing.

Fer: I mean, honestly that that was kind of my favorite thing when I've only had one MFM threesome, and that was my favorite part about it, that it just felt like I didn't have to do much.

You know, I was just thrown around and you know, obviously very [00:13:00] consensually and everything, but it felt like, okay, great. I just sit here and then let things happen. And obviously I also participated. I wasn't blindfolded. Um, maybe unfortunately, but yeah, you, you are like, you're less active than

Didi: Yeah. Like it's about

Fer: in other settings.

Didi: Yeah. It's kinda like them deciding who's doing what when.

Alex: Yeah.

Didi: Like I'm, I'm not really the one deciding those things.

Alex: And he was very, he was a little younger, so he was very much like. Kind of like I was the one saying, go dude, hey, have at it. You know, like, have fun. You know, I would take my turns and you could tell when it was me 'cause I'm not wearing a condom or whatever, obviously.

Yeah. And

yeah,

Alex: many

different factors.

Alex: Yeah, for many different reasons. But, um, but I still feel like I'm in control of those situations and in those situations I let go too. And it's really just about. Seeing Didi enjoy it and, and seeing her enjoyment, which turns me on, you know? Mm-hmm. [00:14:00] Um, and being a little bit in control of that is, is really, really hot.

And you did orgasm

that one. Yeah.

Alex: Yeah. She did orgasm that time as well with. You know, in that situation, which is, which is great 'cause we weren't sure if she would, she does with when we have sex all the time. Yeah. But like with others, it's kind of has been different. And so I'm just like, I want her to orgasm.

'cause that's kind of part of it for me. Like I want her to like enjoy and let go.

Didi: Yeah.

Alex: So after that experience, we did talk about a few things that we would maybe change a little bit, right. Mm.

Didi: Mm-hmm.

Fer: Would you be open to sharing a little bit of like, the adjustments?

Alex: Well, you said that you think the, the next one you said, well, I, I don't think I need the blindfold for the next time.

Didi: Yeah. I was like, cool. Or

Alex: want the blindfold for the next time.

Didi: Yeah. I was like, I don't wanna blindfold the next time with this guy. The only bad thing about the experience was he smoked some marijuana beforehand, and I don't care for the smell of that. And so like I could smell it on him and I was like, oh.

And of course being blindfolded, [00:15:00] you're like sense of, you

Fer: could smell it on him even though he was naked or you could taste it when you kissed him.

Didi: No, we didn't even, and I told, I told Alex, like, we didn't even kiss.

Fer: You didn't kiss. Okay. No,

Didi: I know. Which was, that's not like,

Fer: so wait, wait. I, I'm sorry if this is like too personal and feel free to deny if you don't wanna answer my questions, but I'm, I'm curious, how did he start?

Because I would've started kissing. I mean, that feels like the most obvious, but he just started, I figured touching

Alex: hundred percent. I

Didi: couldn't see his. Face so I'm not in control again of that part. He did start kissing me like on my neck and stuff like that,

Fer: Uhhuh,

Didi: but we never ended up like full on and because I was blindfold.

Fer: And did you talk, were you like high or anything or he just like came up to you like, paint the scene for us because I'm just like so curious.

Didi: Um, so I told Alex, I was like, okay, well at least. Maybe when he comes in, you let him in and you guys come into the room. Maybe just introduce him by name. Oh, I did do that real quick.

You were good. Yeah, I did

introduce [00:16:00] him. Sorry.

Didi: Oh, Didi. Meet Jack. Jack meet Didi. And I just said like, oh, nice to meet you, Jack.

We did do that.

Didi: Yeah. Yeah. And then he came over and he started, he started saying things like, oh, you're so sexy. You know, he was talking and engaging. And then with the kissing, it was more like on my body and then.

From there, it's kind of, because I can, I, I also, I think it was that smell too. I was like. Oh, I didn't like go in for a kiss and then because he didn't go in for a kiss, it just didn't happen. Mm-hmm. Um, and so he just,

Fer: he must have smoked a lot of weed to have it like on his body.

Didi: I know. I was like, I can smell it on him.

Alex: I didn't even notice, but I'll smell. Well, so that's,

Didi: a lot of people smoke here. And so it's like,

Fer: I mean, I'm, I'm saying because I like weed, but I don't think I've ever like smoking so much weed that like I take my clothes off and it's still. Imprinted in my body, you know what I mean? But anyhow, so [00:17:00] 

Didi: it must have been his breath.

'cause that's like when I smelled it and yeah, so then I didn't, obviously wasn't inclined to go in and kiss him, and then he didn't make the move. Then from there, just like me laying on the bed. And then I'm pretty sure if I remember, like he probably went down on me for a bit. I don't exactly remember, but then it was more like oral, right.

Started off with like oral. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Didi: And then, uh, like, kind of like Alex was saying, of course then he is like hard. So now we can go into like he is putting on a condom and I don't know exactly at what point you came in.

Fer: I wanna know, uh, about the time, like the moment you took off the face mask.

Didi: Oh.

So like, again, it wasn't until the very, very, like we were all done and then we were just like on the bed because it was like, Ooh, okay. We, we we're all good. Everybody came.

Hey, well thanks.

Didi: And I said we took it off and we're just kind of laying on the bed. Uh, like we're all in the bed and we're just, I was like, [00:18:00] oh, hey.

Oh, good to actually meet you, Jack. And then, I don't know, it was just like super chill, right?

Alex: Yeah. He left pretty quick and he was like, well, thanks guys. You know, I gotta get back to something that he was doing. I was like, that

Didi: would be great for like two

Alex: couple minutes,

Didi: you know, couple minutes. That was

Fer: it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad you had a good experience, a good first experience. Mm-hmm. That sounds like a lot of fun. Are you seeing him again or have you had any other. MFM threesome, he

Didi: definitely reached

Alex: out. Alright. So he definitely reached out, but I kind of like, was like, oh, we're just focused. Hey, that was awesome.

But I think we're gonna focus on us for a little bit. I like, um, I knew that because of the whole smoking thing,

Fer: I hope Jack doesn't listen to Polycurious

Alex: Jack. Um, because that was really the only thing there. But

Didi: I always said like, if we run into him, I'd be like, Jack. Yeah. You know, like super cool. I dunno.

Alex: So a little while later when we were talking about it. De De was like, Hey, so there's some single guys I've been talking to on field, which I knew [00:19:00] about that might be interested, and she had mentioned MFM with one of them, and we had already talked about that, that we might want that again. And so she introduced me to.

Him and just kinda made the introduction on field. And so then he and I started talking offline, like we just texted back and forth. The same thing. Had a phone conversation. She had already vetted him.

Fer: Did you know if he had any experience with MFM?

Didi: Yeah,

Alex: yeah, he said, yeah. So

Didi: my profile specifically was like, we're looking for couples, but also a desire MFM.

So it was still open to like. Where I would get likes and stuff from just single men. I was going through some of these likes and because we talked about, let's do that again, but find someone else. I just would click on some of these guys' profiles and I saw this guy and he seemed a little bit older, which I liked.

He said that he was experienced. I think I might have messaged first, but. From now on, like I put it in Alex's hands. So I'm like, cool. [00:20:00] Now that we've, we've said hi to each other and you're interested, I think you might be a good fit. I'm gonna pass you over to Alex. That was it. Pretty much Alex bets them after that.

Alex: Yeah, and, and that's, I realize that that's important for me too, because I'm a pretty confident guy, I would say. Right. But I can get insecure too, you know? And so like there's certain, because she'd been talking to a guy like a few months before that, that. I'd seen his profile and this and that. Like, oh, I'm a whatever self-made gazillionaire 30 this and he's six for five or whatever.

I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know that I want you to just go and be without me knowing this guy. Right. As silly as it sounds like, that was kind of like I had to be honest with it.

Fer: Yeah. I'm glad you were honest and it makes sense. Women feel the same way.

Alex: This guy was good looking, but we were the same height.

Like little things like that. When I vet him, I'll ask him, like, I'll say, Hey, just so you know, like. Didi's a petite girl, like, how big are you? You know, like, I will, let's flat out ask him when he had, he'd [00:21:00] come back and he said, I'm a solid six, and I'm like. Okay, great. I'm bigger than you. Fine. It's a dumb little ego thing for guys and I don't, that's not like if a guy is bigger than me, that's not gonna freak me out.

But like, it doesn't happen often to be honest. So it was like one of those things where it's like knowing that and talking to him and he was mature, the whole thing, I felt really comfortable with him. I wasn't sure because Didi had kind of connected with him first, if that was gonna mess with my mind and the whole control thing.

Mm-hmm. But when I talked to him. I didn't feel like that because having been a single guy as long as I was, I could tell he was like me. He knew his role, he knew his whole thing, and we ended up having to reschedule with him. And he was really cool about it, right? Like we text, like, we kind of texted him and was like, oh, this is a good test.

And instead of being like, oh God, I moved my day around. He was like, oh my gosh, absolutely. I know I'm just here as an extra for you guys. Like whatever he, he answer, he said everything right? And I'm like, all right. This guy's a cool guy. I like him. Right? And so we set that up, um, for him to come over one evening, [00:22:00] probably a few weeks ago.

And I will say that that one really ended up being a good, a good experience. Um, I, I, I kind of just said, Hey, look, I'll answer the door. You be in the kitchen and you guys say hi. And we kind of talked about well. You know, how am I gonna know if you actually like this guy? She'll go. I'll just say when I'm ready, if I like him, I'll just say, Hey, so do you want to go upstairs?

You know, to him? And that would be the sign. And so he ended up coming in and I'll let you take over there from here babe. Talk a little bit.

Didi: Yeah. I mean, he came in and we like sat in the kitchen for a little bit and

Alex: really not that long. Maybe like three or four minutes. Five minutes? Yeah.

Didi: Yeah. And he was like, already.

Kinda giving me the attention or whatever, and I'm like, okay, good. Kinda like Alex said, it's important to know that this person's into you. So I was like, okay. He's interested, obviously. And then it, it quickly was like, okay, so like should we go upstairs? And then we went upstairs. You were like, yeah, guys, go [00:23:00] ahead.

I think he like kissed. Did he kiss me downstairs? Right? I think he,

Alex: yeah. He even asked, he's like, is it okay if I kiss you like in front of me? And I was, he and I had talked about that and I had said, Hey, listen, by the way. I'm comfortable with this. Like I kind of want you to be a little bit aggressive with her.

Obviously not over the top, but like feel free to get forward. Like she's beautiful. Like be forward with her. Like I think she's gonna want that. And so he did that, which was great. He came in immediately, sat right next to her and he kinda like turned in there and kind of put his hand on whatever. Yeah.

Like got really close and whatever. And I was like, okay, great. So this guy is experienced, he knows what he's doing. Right. And then when you said. Like really quick, like, all right, so are you guys, should we go upstairs? Because it's like a small talk thing. Uh, and he kinda looked at me and I was like, yeah, go have fun.

Yeah. And so they went up there and into the bedroom and then I kind of just stayed down there for like a minute and like kind of grabbed my drink and then I kind of went up and. You could kind of peek into the room. I couldn't see, but I could tell that it looked like she was maybe giving him a blowjob is kind of what I kind of what I [00:24:00] gathered and I could hear, hear him, you know, happy about that, obviously.

And so I just let them play until he started having sex with her for probably like a minute. And then that's when I,

Fer: and you were watching,

Alex: I finally, I, I did eventually I was kind of standing outside the door listening. Um, and then I kind of. After about a minute I walked in. Right. And then, and he was there.

And of course, and I'm just like, she's fucking amazing. Honey's like, oh my god, she's so, you know, like of course you know, that's the thing for me too. 'cause I know how beautiful she is, but I love like hearing it from other people obviously. And so, so they were having a good time and we ended up. Probably more successfully than ever before.

I'm not sure if I even told you this, where it was just, uh, like he would have his turn and then he'd be like, all right, you want turn? I'd have my turn. And then I'd stop and like, Hey, you're the guest. You know, like literally we were talking like that. Like come everybody, you know? And, and she ended up letting [00:25:00] loose, I think more in that she started Can you Yeah,

Didi: yeah.

Alex: Like orgasming, like kind of. Over and over.

Didi: Well, yeah, I do that anyway.

Alex: Yeah,

Didi: the thing is you do that anyway, but yeah, like, and even in the first one, I wasn't worried necessarily about orgasming, it was just more like, how quickly was I gonna get there? And that sort of thing. For me, I like, I have like a vibrator, a toy, and that's always worked for me for, for forever, for years.

Um, what

Fer: kinda vibrator, is it a cl vibrator or more like a dildo?

Didi: Uh, clit. So I just need clit stimulation.

Fer: Is it like a socking one?

Didi: Um, no. I've tested a lot of vibrators.

Yeah, we've been going through '

Fer: em. Which, which, which brand is this? Give us the tips.

Didi: Well, so one, one, not to buy the one that was my favorite.

I try to find ones that are the least surface space, like, 'cause there's, I'll have the big ones that like, are almost like the wand type ones or whatever. But then they're like [00:26:00] so big and they get in the way depending on what position you're in. I was using one for a while that was kind of more like that and that one works really well.

Then I had like another one that is, I don't know what it's called. It's like love sense. It's one that's remote, but you can also s stick it like inside and then you're supposed to be able to like wear it. I don't know if you've seen those ones. Yeah,

Fer: well we'll add the link in the show notes for the listeners who want to get that, that vibrator.

We'll figure it out.

Didi: That one's meant to like, I don't know. You're supposed to like put it in you and I actually just use it as a vibrator. Yeah. So I don't use it how you're supposed to. Yeah.

Alex: You love that

one.

Didi: Yeah. And then I recently got the Lilo one, which is like specifically like a pinpoint one for your clit.

Which is really good, but it is also hard sometimes to like stay on because it's so precise.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Didi: In this case, it was like, obviously I had all my toys, um, and [00:27:00] then yeah, you guys just kind of kept switching back and forth. Like they, like they were just doing their thing and like, I was also in our space that we normally have sex in, so like.

Going into all the positions that we like, like we have a bench in front of the bed. Oh yeah. I use the bench and everything. Yeah. We use the bench in front of the bed a lot. Yeah. Um, and so like, I just came a lot, like over and over again. So both of them were like loving it. They were like, just like Alex already loves it all the time, but I think for him to be like, yeah, man, look at what I have like on a daily basis.

Was kind of like one of the

Fer: Right, right. I do wanna talk about that. Uh, 'cause obviously you are also very aroused by this. What is it exactly that, that you feel aroused by? You mentioned that you feel aroused by her being aroused, but it also sounds like there's, as, as Didi was saying, an aspect of like, [00:28:00] look at my girl.

Like look at what I get to do every day with her type thing.

Alex: There's definitely a little bit of a sense of. Ownership, we've talked about that, you know, and like the power and the this and that, and kind of like, I've often thought about it as like, Hey, I've got this amazing baseball card, you know, whatever.

And it's like, Hey, you want, hey, you wanna see my baseball card? It's amazing. What's you awesome assist? Like, Hey, you're my buddy. I'm gonna share with you. I, I like, I like to share that kind of stuff, right? I mean, it's mine. I don't, I'm not gonna give it to you, but you can, you wanna try it out? You know, like that's just kind of a, a thing.

And so to see how much. He was enjoying it and she was enjoying it, and then I was enjoying it. And those moments, yeah, I very much just feel like it's, I, I'm trying to do something very nice for her, you know, but it turns me on to, to see her being like sexually pleased by another man mm-hmm. In that situation.

Mm-hmm.

Didi: You know? Yeah.

Alex: Um, because again, I felt safe. I, [00:29:00] I talked to the guy we had now, met him. You know, he's good looking. He's cool, but I didn't feel threatened by him at all. You know, if I get to know them, you know, even if they are tall or whatever, I don't care. Like that doesn't bother me. It's just when I don't know them at all and I haven't had anything, any connection and I haven't been able to talk to them and understand that, that they know what, you know, like to me, that's the key.

So when I can get in that head space and I can really enjoy it, and so. Yeah, it's all of those things.

Fer: Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, it's interesting with the getting into your head because maybe the guy is taller than you or whatever. I think that, as I was saying, it happens to women too. Like for me. I'm also small, right?

So I'm often thinking like, okay, if I have a threesome and the woman is like super tall, I'm like a tiny person. I also don't have the biggest boobs or or ass. I like what I have, but seeing that difference, okay, yeah, it would be a little intimidating. So I also like to, when I have threesomes, to have women that.[00:30:00] 

I'm more or less my size 'cause that makes me feel more comfortable. But then I've analyzed this 'cause I'm like, this is like ridiculous. You know? There's so many hot women that don't look like me. And then I try to like imagine it and it can also be really hot if like the women look different, like that can be attractive as well.

But it's definitely something that trips me up sometimes. Like, I'm not particularly attracted to blonde women, and I'm like, is it just because I want them to look like me? You know, like, I don't know.

Didi: I'm the same way.

Alex: Yeah. They're not, we're, we're, we're, we're both the same way. But for me too, it has, it has so much to do with, like, me knowing them, me meeting them in person, it's almost like it, it matters.

Like once I meet them in person, then how tall they are, whatever, everything else doesn't matter. Right? Right. Like, it's just, I want, but when you're

Fer: picking them, you do

Alex: want, I'm picking them. Mm-hmm. I wanna have control of saying yes or no, and to me that's like the most important piece of it, so. Mm-hmm.

When I have that, then in this situation, like I know afterwards, Didi, as much as she really enjoyed it, she was like, you know, I loved it, but I think you told me like I [00:31:00] wasn't complete. I didn't completely let go. Like I didn't know was it okay to kiss him? 'cause at one point point I was like, dude, kiss her like you're kissing.

Like, I, I may even said like, you had some kiss, like it's totally fine. Like they were kind and, and that doesn't bother me at all. Right. And so to the point where we even said like this next time. We were like, Hey. So he ended up trying to reload, but again, trying to reload with a condom is hard. And, and he struggled there.

And, and he was like, guys, sorry, you know, it, it's, we, we've been going at it for a while. And I, and I said, no, totally understand that. And I looked at Didi later and we talked and I was like, you know, if he went and got tested, you know, is that something that maybe we would invite him back, you know, without a condom?

'cause I know as a guy that's more enjoyable. Right. And,

Fer: and as a woman too.

Alex: And as a woman too, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so Didi said yes and he went and got tested. And so we were actually supposed to have him over a couple nights ago, but we were both sick. And so we canceled it. And it's funny because literally right before we called you just now, 'cause Didi and I had been talking about this, I texted him and I was like, Hey man.

How's Monday looking? He and he [00:32:00] responded. I was just about to ask you. We still good for three o'clock? And I'm like, lemme confirm. So, so round two with him is probably gonna happen this next week and I'm super excited about it. I think that's great.

Fer: That's awesome. So we, we talked a little bit about why Alex feels aroused by it.

What's, what's arousing for you, Didi? I mean, there's obvious parts, but in your head, what's the narrative that makes it hot?

Didi: I think it's just having. Two men that are really into you or that can trade off. And I don't know, it's just always maybe been kind of a kink. I can think back to whatever, whenever I started watching porn, like that's always been a porn, like porn I've gravitated to.

Mm-hmm. That and like group sex. I never watched two girls and a guy like I'd sometimes I'd like run across it and I'd be like. Watching it and be like, eh. And so I'd always find two guys and a girl. I'm like, it would just turn me on so much. And obviously [00:33:00] there are other factors to it, such as dp, obviously that's something that you get, you can't do with one person, like with one penis, so, mm-hmm.

Like I love anal and it's something like I. I, I knew I would probably, like, I didn't explore it so much in like my past long-term relationship. I just never, we never were like in this comfortable space where we ever really talked about it. And, and probably with Alex, when we started dating, it was like pretty much immediate.

Like, I think the second time you came over you brought like butt plugs and I was like, yes,

Fer: iron butt plugs. The best like listeners out there. Women, I mean, obviously men can use them too. I don't know Alex, if you've ever tried it, but, but plugs are so good. Like you just put them in, you have your phone, even if you don't like anal, like full on anal.

Mm-hmm. And like, it just, everything feels better.

Didi: Exactly. It just, it adds to the experience.

Fer: So was that second threesome your first [00:34:00] double penetration experience?

Didi: No, we didn't actually do it that time. We didn't.

Alex: We

Didi: did, we did a little bit on the first one. On the, on the first one.

Alex: It was

the

Fer: first one. Oh, okay.

Yeah. 'cause you had said that you had told him no and no, but I guess in this case

Didi: it was, he wasn't allowed in that.

Fer: Right, right, right. Like no anl for him, but, but Alex, for him,

Alex: yeah.

Fer: Yeah. Okay. Because

Alex: I'll be more gentle.

Didi: Oh, you'll

Alex: m not, no. Um, yeah, we didn't the second time. Just the first time. No, but the plan for, so another practical thing is, so we had, the first time we had him come over, it was like a seven in the evening.

My flushing now. Right. I know. If you could only see, um, seven in the evening, and I'm really. I guess I, I was gonna say pushing. I'm really encouraging Dene to also try not just dp, but like DVP is really hot for me.

Fer: What's DVP?

Alex: Double vaginal penetration, so,

Fer: oh, I see, I

Alex: see, I see. Yeah, too, right.

Didi: Which I didn't even know was a thing.

Alex: Yeah. And, and as a [00:35:00] single guy in a lifestyle, that's something that I was called to do quite a bit. Like, that was like one of the kinks that people wanted to try. Right. Didi and I talked about it and she was like,

Fer: sounds complicated.

Alex: Wow. Yeah. She's

Fer: like, I'm sure you can make it work.

It, it definitely works.

Fer: Even regular dp, I've experienced it, but not with two men. Like I've experienced it with like a toy.

Alex: Mm-hmm.

Fer: I don't know. I always wonder like, oh man, it sounds a little complex like with two men, but I'm sure there's, I'm sure I'll eventually figure it out. Hopefully, well, there's

Alex: yeah. Certain positions that work better for it, obviously.

And, and everyone's gotta be on board and, and be comfortable in the whole thing. And so, because like we wanted to try DV DP again, or DEI had express that, then she was like, so the next time he comes over, can it be. Earlier in the day, so that practically speaking, she could be fasting or whatever, you know?

Fer: Right. Um, you

Alex: know,

Fer: that makes sense. Yeah. No, that's a concern.

Alex: Are you okay baby?

Didi: There's just ways for it to be [00:36:00] kept cleaner than other Yeah, there's,

Fer: yeah.

Didi: That's the, so

Alex: that's why we're talking about. 3:00 PM on Monday, um, instead of 7:00 PM because that will potentially make it that available where it doesn't have, we don't have to go there.

'cause at the end of the day, I just want to do it if DEI was feeling comfortable, you know? Yeah. In the moment.

Didi: Well, and we honestly haven't done like, uh, that many times. Like we haven't done a time as far as like anal penetration. Yeah. We haven't done it a time. We have a few times and every time it's been like.

It's thoroughly enjoyable. Like I, I really enjoy. But

Alex: you love your butt plugs baby.

Didi: Yeah, but like the butt plugs, kinda like you were saying, those are so easy and he loves when I use them, I'd

Fer: say, have you ever tried one, Alex? Because I came across like a guy talking about how they're great and I mean, we all, we know that men's GPO supposedly is there, but I, I think there's like a stigma around that.

So

Alex: it's funny when you mentioned that, because we were talking about that this morning. So I've, I've had one person [00:37:00] like. Uh, explore there with their finger. Right. Um, and I was like, oh, hey.

Didi: She like caught you off.

Alex: Guard. Guard. Yeah. It kind of caught me off guard, but I didn't, I did not enjoy it. And Didi and I have talked about like, Hey, if you wanted to, I told her if you wanted to.

I, you know, I might be open to that, but I'm not, like, I don't, that's not something that I ever think about or whatever. Like I think about doing it to her.

Fer: Well, but you've never tried it?

Alex: Um, no. I've never, no, I've never, I've never tried it. No.

Fer: It's so funny, right? Because it's like, it, it's literally just stigma.

It's

Fer: whole stigma, right? Yeah's. 'cause why? It's not, it's not like your butt who is occupied when you have sex with Didi, right? Like you could both be wearing a butt plug and both feeling, be feeling God damnit good. And, and it might even feel even more pleasurable for you than Diddy, you know? And, and yet, like you guys didn't think about it.

No,

I'm

Alex: just kidding. No. So here's the thing where we have talked about is that like. So we were [00:38:00] talking recently about, you know, she was talking about the whole, maybe I'm more heteroflexible, and I said to her and I was like, so if I'm being honest with you, like when, when, when you are DPing a girl, or even more so DPing a girl, like as a guy, you're definitely deriving some of the pleasure.

From the, I mean, your cocks are right next to each other. I mean, they're touching and rubbing, right? Like, and so you have to kind of get into head space. I remember the first time I was called upon to do it, I had to ask myself, like, I was almost like, am I gay? Does this make me gay? Like literally I was just like, what the heck?

And it was just such a mind fuck. And, but now that I've done it more like I. It's one of those things where it doesn't bother me at all, and I'm just like, yeah, it's just a pleasure thing. I'm not grabbing the guy's balls. You know, it's just like, it's one of those things

Fer: where, I mean, of with the bot block, you are not even interacting with a guy.

It's

Alex: not even a guy. Exactly. Yeah. No. And so, yeah, I, I, I've literally, it's never even crossed my mind that I would, I would have a butt plug in me.

Didi: So wait, but are butt plugs for? Invented a gateway for Peggy? [00:39:00] 

Alex: Probably. Yeah. Yeah. First one's free, and then there's the, I mean,

Fer: did it, you could learn him yours.

Didi: Yeah, you can use mine. Well,

Alex: I don't like where this conversation is.

Fer: Hey, you'll thank us later. You'll thank us later. We'll

Alex: see you later. No, I'm kidding,

Didi: actually. Fer. I love that you're bringing this up because it's, she does. It's definitely not anything I've ever thought. Of or even thought to be like, Hey, why don't we explore this?

Fer: Honestly, I hadn't thought about it until I saw a guy talking about it on Instagram and he seemed like a hetero guy. And I was like, that makes total sense. But like, same on my side. Like I have one, but I've never, I've never had my partner used it. Mm-hmm. Um, but I'm just like, if I was a man. Like, fuck that homophobic shit.

I know it's not intentional. We will live in this heteronormative world. It's conditioning, but it's just like we know that that's where your GPO is. Like aren't you curious to [00:40:00] figure out what that means without having to have another man? I mean, I wasn't before

bay. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No,

Fer: say, well, I'm glad we are opening your horizons.

Didi: He did say like, oh, like, because that one time. They like just surprised him with a finger. He was like, I mean. It. I wasn't like, no. So like, if you wanted to do that, obviously if it's something you, you wanted to do and thought was hot, I mean at one point I

Alex: was like out, just pull little, just

Didi: too much.

Yeah, you're like too deep. Cheesy

Alex: too.

Didi: But so it was like, so like maybe since he has said like, oh cool, if you just find yourself wanting to do that because you think it's hot, like go for it. But now maybe I just have a little butt plug where,

Fer: well, I mean, a finger is different, right? Like I don't love Yeah.

Like I would much rather, I would happily put a butt plug inside. Yes. Whoever, not whoever, whoever I'm having sex with. But I don't love putting a finger in as much. 'cause what if like, it comes out dirty, you know what I mean? Yeah. And same, same on the other way around. Like I also, that's also why I'd [00:41:00] much rather wear one than like, same.

And I mean, there's ways that you can make sure it's clean or like maybe you are, you, you know, you trust your partner enough that like, even if like it came out there, you, you know, you won't we? Yeah,

Alex: yeah,

Fer: yeah. Like, you'd be fine.

Alex: I will say that I could sometimes, even though I'm more definitely more of a dominant in bed, sometimes I get switched.

Like when you get on top, right? Yeah. And I'm just like, you take control. Yeah. Like, that would be the time for you to try stuff. 'cause I'm just like, all right, go for it. Like, I, I also like that as a guy, even though I'm dominant, like 90% of the time, like if a girl gets that way and wants to take over like that turns me on too.

Didi: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think G guys occasionally, even if you are a dom, primarily,

Alex: yeah. Having an aggressive girl get on in like whatever like we do. Yeah. It is

Fer: a vulnerable thing. It does feel like a do thing to do, right? To It

Alex: does. And that's I be, I think I'd have to almost be in that. State of mind where she's like,

Didi: good to know.

Good to know. Noted

Alex: on me just ripping my chest to shred with her nails. Yeah.

Fer: Well, you guys let me know how how [00:42:00] it goes. Thank me later for the tip.

Didi: Yes,

Alex: you slap me.

Yeah. I slapped him because

Alex: I usually do it to her, and she was like, poof. I was like, oh,

you, you're like,

Alex: we're

slap me sometimes. And I like slap

Alex: like.

And you were caught off guard and you're like, I guess the

Alex: butt plug is next. Slapped me.

Fer: So you you, you didn't find it hot. You were more like, okay.

Alex: No, I thought it was super hot.

Fer: Oh, you thought it was hot. Okay.

Alex: Caught off guard. I loved it, but it was just, I just wasn't expected it because like I slapped her, she like full of slapped me back.

Like it as hard as slapped her. I was like, oh shit. Yeah. Nice.

Fer: Sometimes

Didi: we get into these like little wrestling.

Alex: Oh, that's great. That would be the time too, possibly.

Didi: Yeah,

Alex: we're i'll, like, she'll try to get away, but I won't let her get away. But then it turns sexual, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, that's, yeah, like we definitely

Didi: end up having sex.

Alex: Yeah.

Fer: I do want to quickly ask you, Alex, how you got so comfortable with. MFM, right? [00:43:00] Because I know that a lot of men have difficulty getting over that hump because of your, like what kind of man, like let's his woman like quote unquote his woman, you know, uh, do this type of thing. Did you ever have any of that or like the insecurities we were talking about, how did you manage to get over

Alex: that?

The first person I tried the lifestyle with. I did not like even Swappy partners like I thought I would. 'cause every guy has that fantasy. And then the first couple times we did it, I remember looking over at her once and the guy's just going at it. And I'm just like, I don't like it. And I actually questioned it and I said, I don't know if this is for me, right?

But then when we ended up breaking up and I was pulled back in as a single guy kind of randomly, I wasn't even looking for it. It just happened. Like I ran into a couple that I had met at a party and they're like, where have you been? And I said, oh, well, so and so I broke up and I thought I was out. And they're like, no, we really like you.

You'd be a great man of corn. And I was like, men,

Fer: unicorn. Oh my God, I hadn't

Alex: heard that term. Unicorn. I was like, [00:44:00] what is that? Like, I had no idea. She's like, there's a party in two weeks. Come, we'll come as our guest. And I ended up going to the single guy and there was like 40 couples there or whatever, and like, and that's kind of how I got pulled in.

So I ended up hooking up with a couple. So they had me over and I ended up, and he just watched the first time, literally, he didn't even, he didn't even get, he just wanted me to have sex with his wife and he just enjoyed that. Right? But then eventually he started participating and then. He would, he would say, Hey, uh, she likes dp.

Are you familiar with that? Are you good with that? And I'm like, oh yeah, of course I'm, you know, whatever.

Fer: You had no idea.

Alex: I didn't wanna say no, you know, I actually, I don't remember how it happened, but through those experiences I became more comfortable with and I realized that a lot of guys enjoyed that.

To the point where when I then had a relationship later, I was like, oh, I kind of like

Fer: this too. I see. That's so interesting. So. You were much more comfortable doing it as a single guy because you weren't [00:45:00] sharing your woman or whatever.

Correct.

Fer: But then when you did it and you observed like, oh, these couples are actually great together and he's very much enjoying sharing her, then.

Why wouldn't I enjoy it? Right. And and also just I guess getting more experience and comfortable in the dynamic, but sounds like, I guess for men who are maybe a little hesitant, maybe that can be a way in which they get a little bit more comfortable, like starting out as a money corn.

Alex: Well, yeah, potentially.

Yeah, for sure. And it's one of those things too, like. Where Didi and I right now, we've realized, 'cause we had talked about like trying to, you know, her still trying to do things on her own and whatever, and I just kind of realized that I'm not comfortable with that right now. And, and, and what I am comfortable with is like the couple situations where we're both there or the MFMs.

Where I have some of the control on this for her, I'd be comfortable with [00:46:00] two girls, but she's not comfortable with that quite yet. And that's okay. You know, so we're just like trying to figure out what works step by step, um, so that everyone feels comfortable. So it's just one of those things where it just takes a little time sometimes.

Fer: Yeah. And I'm glad, glad that you guys are not like, it has to be the same. I feel like that's. A very common mistake people make of like, oh, because I'm comfortable with you having two men, you should be comfortable with me having two women.

Mm-hmm.

Alex: But I will say, it's taken me, it's taken me some years to get there.

Fer: Mm-hmm.

Alex: So that's like a, like being more comfortable with that is has taken you with the

Fer: difference.

Alex: Yeah, it's taken me a while to get there.

Didi: Yeah. It's primarily because he is way more experienced than I am, so I get really intimidated. So I'm still coming into my own, like as far as my confidence in the, in, in just this world of being more free sexually.

And I just came into it right before meeting Alex. [00:47:00] And so part of him saying he is not comfortable with me spending time doing solo stuff. I don't really want to do solo stuff, but I was on this journey where kinda like he was saying he was pulled in as a single guy. For a couple years and really got to explore without the thought of anyone else.

Mm-hmm.

Didi: And then I was just trying to start that, get into that and like figure out who I am in that environment and come into this like confident sexual independent woman. And then

Alex: she met this amazing man and she was like, shit.

Didi: Yeah. And then the universe had different plans for me, so we're trying to figure out how to like still give me space for that because I am, I was just stepping into it.

Alex: Yeah. But then also make, keep it safe for me. And we found that MFMs kind of fill that role to a point where like I feel comfortable with them and it still kind of fill. Some of that [00:48:00] bucket for her.

Fer: Yeah.

Alex: Mm-hmm. Um,

Fer: some of that bucket of feeling like she's still exploring without being without, too Exactly.

Without being admit to, because now she has a, a partner. Yeah. That makes total sense. Thank you for explaining that. It's just being honest and admitting where you're at and dealing with that and where you're at is going to be different, and that's, that's okay. But I'm curious. Alex, 'cause you mentioned it took you a, a while to get comfortable with that.

What helped you in that process? If someone is feeling that way and, and wants to get a little bit more comfortable with things being un, un uneven or unequal?

Alex: I think what's helped me is she's been telling me this for a while. That, Hey, listen, I want to have some of these experiences because I didn't have them.

And I feel like you've had all the experiences and she kinda, like we mentioned before, she's like, you're an Olympic swimmer and I'm still in the. Kiddie pool. Right. And so, and for me, I'd hear it, but I'd be like, uh, that kind of sounds like bullshit. Like you had some experiences and it, it was the pride, it was the ego.

It was the kind of like, [00:49:00] you just want to go fuck around and not have me do it. Right. It's kind of how it felt like for me, but I. A couple months ago we were talking and she brought it up again and I had, and I was kind of having a wall against it again and pushing against it and being like, no, babe, this sounds like you know, you just want to go to Vegas and have fun and just, I sit here and you wait for you, whatever, and you, for whatever reason, the way she explained it this next time.

I saw that she was being sincere, and it's not that she's just trying to go sleep around with a bunch of guys and whatever. It's, it's that she really does kind of feel like she's at this different level and that she wants to get more comfortable at it so that we can both be at this comfortable level.

And I, and I guess I just realized many things, one of which was that like getting her to that comfortable level with me at the same time is where we actually want to be eventually. And I think that'll be a beautiful thing for us when we do get there. But then I also really just kinda, the more I'm [00:50:00] with her and the more I love her and the more I trust her, just kind of I saw in her heart and I saw that she meant it sincerely, and it wasn't, it wasn't some type of, you know, trying to one up me or anything like that.

I had to hear it finally, even though she'd been saying it and I finally heard it. Mm-hmm. I had never heard that before.

Didi: Me being, coming from a, a reserved. Lifestyle that I was at and trying to figure out how to let go of some of this conditioning and everything is like gonna benefit both of us. And I would tell 'em all the time, I wish I had already done this before we met.

Like, I don't wanna do it this way. Like, I wish I'd, I'd done it. Yeah. You

Fer: wish you were comfortable with threesomes with women and you wish you were comfortable with group sex right off the bat? Yeah. And all of the things.

Didi: Yeah. And I told him, like when I met him because he was married at the time. His ex didn't wanna do all the parties and all that and she was like, great, Didi wants to do that with you.

And I was like, great. Someone that I'm like very comfortable with and trust, but am not like, is not my [00:51:00] primary perfect. I would go to all the parties, I'll do all the things right because. There's a level of this person can't hurt me as much. You know, as it it is now, there's like much more invested. Hmm.

So it's a barrier going into all these scenarios. Mm-hmm. Versus this is just my friend or like my boyfriend. That's married.

Fer: Yeah. My

Didi: boyfriend gets married, but like I go to the, that I fill this bucket for him. I was

expendable.

Didi: No,

not expendable,

Didi: but I know, I know what you mean. There's like the psych psychological factor of that.

Fer: Yeah.

Didi: Kept it safe for me to where it was like, there's some safety here, but there's some safety also here. And so I was like. Yeah, it was so exciting. 'cause I was gonna fill that for you and that was actually gonna make your ex-wife super happy because you were gonna get that filled. And she trusted me and was like, great.

Didi's great for that.

Alex: And we're, we're evolving and we're figuring it out, but we're taking it step by step. But we're realizing that like we had to take a few steps back. We've taken success [00:52:00] forward and we've been like, wait, hold on. If we're being honest with you, we're not ready. Let's take three steps back.

Didi: Yeah. Because Alex wants me to be able to, at some point, I don't know, and maybe I won't need it, but exploring outside of us is kind of a, a harder thing for us to like. Yeah, for him to wrap his head around and I feel selfish,

Fer: but you wouldn't want him to explore independently and he's not comfortable with that, or he's getting comfortable with that idea.

Didi: I mean, I would like us to explore independently together if that's what we actually want to do. I feel like my reasoning for wanting to. Explore independently isn't because that's what I want long term. Does that make sense?

Fer: It's just because you were in this period of sexual, sexual exploration and you felt like it was cut short and now you can only play with Alex, which is great, but you were

Didi: Yeah.

Fer: In your slot era and it kind of Yes. Yes. And that a little bit sooner than that you were helping for.

Didi: Right. And the S slot era has different energy. Right. And [00:53:00] that's energy that you do like.

Fer: Yeah, you don't have to check in like, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, of course he'll you, if you were today, independently right now, you'd check in with Alex.

But it's a little bit like, you don't have to be like, do you like this person? Like, is everyone feeling comfortable? You know, it's a little bit easier. As a single hard woman to just be like, oh, a hard guy. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's easier, yeah.

Didi: Partial, partially that, but also I think it goes back to he had to go be a slut for like a couple years, right.

To where now he is like, has all this like confidence and like experience to now take it to a relationship. And be like, I know what the fuck I'm doing and this isn't intimidating. I am like he was in that moment of the swap in the very beginning. Yeah, right. You know? Yeah, that makes sense. So we're trying to figure out how do I get to Alex's level?

Maybe I don't need to play solo. We don't know. We're trying to figure out how to [00:54:00] maybe achieve that without me being having that solo, you know,

Fer: sweat

Didi: face.

Fer: Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's interesting because. That's kind of what I was thinking. I totally believe that it's awesome to have a slot era, like single slot era.

You know? I feel like it was important for me to have that. But also it does sound like you're having your slot era with Alex, right? So as you said, like maybe there's a way where you can have that in a partnership. It sounds nice. I've never gotten to explore with my partner because my partner is monogamous as you guys, I think know.

Mm-hmm.

Fer: And honestly, like that's something that I. Crave, you know? Yeah. So grass is green air if it, if it makes you feel any better. Right. But I like that you're, you're just getting creative, right. Of like, okay, how do we make this work? And I think that's, yeah. We're, we're being honest

Alex: about how we, what we feel and how we feel.

Right. Yeah. And I think that's the most important thing.

Fer: Well, thank you guys. This was amazing. Any parting words [00:55:00] for people who might want to do MFMs? I usually ask, what advice do you have for a poly curious person? But since today we talked mostly about that.

Alex: If you need a good experience, no, I'm kidding.

Fer: Call us.

Alex: I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Didi: Profile leak in your show now

all of a sudden you get all these hits on field.

Um, yeah. I don't

Alex: communicate. Take it slow and, uh, have fun

Didi: and be and be honest about where you're at.

Alex: Yeah.

Didi: Yeah. What needs to be adjusted? Yeah. Get creative. Like the blindfold thing was actually. It literally help you. You seem

Fer: to it. Yeah.

Didi: Mm-hmm.

Alex: And if it doesn't work the first time, don't necessarily think that that means that that's how it's gonna be forever.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, maybe just in that moment you needed to think through, you needed to have a better understanding. You needed. To communicate, [00:56:00] you know, with your partner and whatever.

Fer: Yeah, I love that. I, I've seen in some field profiles I'll try ev anything twice. So I like what you said, Alex. 'cause you know, people say like, I'll try it once, but actually I think in non-monogamy sometimes you have to try it twice to really know.

At least

Alex: sometimes. Yeah.

Fer: Great. Yeah, and you can always tweak and figure out. Well thank you guys. This was amazing. Thank.